So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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