The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
