She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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