dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
