would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
