david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
