I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
