Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
