Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
