so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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