the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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