It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
