when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Randomize
