u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
