I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
