My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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