All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
