Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i will never coherently bang her
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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