just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
