every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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