You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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