I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
