You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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