when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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