:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
