Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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