She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
