Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
tell me about the fingering
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