But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
