He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
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