I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
