I like to think it a success when the cops are called
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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