Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
