lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just had sex bonerless
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
