This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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