I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
