dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
