Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
