My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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