if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
