you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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