i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
