3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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