i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
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