what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
