Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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