wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I want her autograph on my taint
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
