In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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