I wanna bring you to show and tell
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
my poor anus
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
