just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
